I'm gonna make a new journal.
Too many bad memories with this one..
So yeah x3.
It's gonna be open...Not friends only.
But my rants are going to be friends-only
Meh.
So if you're annoyed with my new-journal making
You don't have to add it...
But I'd like you too.
And I'm gonna add all of you.

So there x3

I promise I'll keep this next one till at least next year.
That's right.
:D


ok.


My new journal is herrjeremy

I'm beginning to hate livejournal.
Because it makes me run my mouth.
And state my opinions.
And in the end, it gets people angry with me.
Friends and non-friends alike.
It makes me see all of their grammatical flaws
And general flaws.
Which amuses the fuck out of me
Until I realize they're angry.
And then it depresses me.
And then I realize they see all my grammatical flaws
And general flaws.
And I have to go cry somewhere.
And cuddle with a stuffed animal.
Which makes me feel childish and weak.
So then I toughen up.
And I act arrogant.

And then I get messages like this from Bamm

ComeInNumber51x: fuck you
Nazi cArousel: -fucks me.-
ComeInNumber51x signed off at 8:31:27 PM.

And it really amuses me, again.
But this time it doesn't turn into depression.
It just turns into nostalgia.
Then I feel like I'm out of my body
And watching this whole thing from the view of someone else.
I see myself and laugh.
And I see my situation and laugh.
I see all my friends and laugh.
And I laugh and laugh because I don't know what matters to me anymore.
Am I a bitch? Probably.
An adorable, ugly bitch.
I'm rotton to the core with candy.
And smiles and happiness.
Immaturity? Yeah, sure.
Maturity? Tons of it.
That's the one thing I retain.
Happiness.

Bamm's big long rant about me put tears in my eyes.
Allll over the place, on my computer. On my blankets.
They're drop dropping.
But I'm grinning, smiling.

I'm a happy person.
I'm so glad I'm a happy person.
And if I lose friends for that, sure :D

And through all of this.
I've grown to respect people.

Brandon-
Don't put your dick down my throat if you didn't want to deal with what might happen between us :D
I think it seriously changed me.
I felt like the small and meek little bitch i did when i was little.
But that's what I'll always be.
Small and meek and damn vulnerable.

i'm tougher than you all thought.

go become an hero.
Piccolo-
I never meant to cause a fight in your journal.
I'll be the coward this time.
And delete everything I wrote.

Happy chunuka.
sieg heil.


por que, mr. spang?


"I cannot Fucking Believe You.
This is Your Words For Me.
A Little Sheltered Girl Is What I'll Always Fucking Be.
So Loving And Considerate.
Too Scared Of What I'll Be.
I Look Into The Mirror, The Whore Is All I See."






Yet somehow.


I'm still not unhappy.
:D

panic attack number 3 is coming on.
Jamie please pick up your fucking phone.

fuck.
this hurts.
it hurts it hurts it hurts.

Let's take a look into the mirror.
Name: Jeremy Aidan
Reflection: Bewildered expression on a blonde headed beauty
Internally: Loves strawberries, and chocolate, and strawberries dipped in chocolate. And Love. Also loves Jamie. And Lucian. And Katelyn. And Rayne. And Phoenix. And Zander. And all the other's who help me all the time.
Externally: Body is not right. Cries easily. Can't fight back. Gets cramps a lot. Falls asleep alot. Low immune system. Weird colored eyes. Beautiful hair. Beautiful skin.
Creativity: hair and makeup and words and voice.
Numbers:  His most hated enemy.
Friends: Brandon, Matt Piccolo, Shia, Mike, Devon, Takkun, And anyone else who says "I miss you" but doesn't care to invite him out anywhere. that's okay though. i still love them.
Family: Nanny <3
Fun: starbucks, computer, mall, love. love is fun.
Aspirations: Aplenty.
Alliterations: I've made many.

He can also rhyme quite well.
It isn't very hard to tell.
How he does this so intricately
While he writes words so delicately.
That make no sense at all.
<3

Jeremy Aidan is a weak boy without any power in the entire world.
He can't change the seasons.
Or make the moon always be full.
As much as he'd like to.
He can't live in the city.
And he can't unbreak his mother's bones.
But sometimes he feels like he's the only strong person left in the world.

When I am Queen
On royal thrown
Made out of parts of broken bones
From all the devils I have known
That sucked the angels dry.

When I am Queen
I'll have my way
I'll make it drowning dolly day
And all the tears that we have cried
Will suck back in our eyes.

Drown drown drown
myself.



:D
I love you Jamie.
I bet you're mad at me.
But I love you.
I love you
Love you
Love you
I'll never speak again.
I'll sew my lips closed.
And maybe that will solve things.


Fuck you, Jeremy.
Spoiled brat.

I miss old friends =/
Lucian and Rayne and Eshen and KB.

Hospitals stop studying >>
Fucking hell.


Jamie makes me sad.
Maybe it's not his fault.
But i never realized how much
it fucking bothers me.
:3

 

My morning thus far:

I literally woke to my mothers screams of pain and broken glass all abouts the floor.
7:36.
Started cleaning the glass right away.
Got her a cup of coffee.
Listen to her weep and tried to comfort
Called my father but he's gone.
It's just a fifteen year old
and a helpless mother.
Cleaned more.
7:40
Cut my fingers on a piece of glass.
It hurts...
I think it's stuck...
7:43
Had my mother call my grandmother
Who called an ambulance cause she can't move.
I wish daddy would come home...
7:50
Ambulance is here now.
I don't want her to go
...I miss her.
8:06
Cried for a while.
Don't want the ambulance people to come upstairs...
But puppy is with me.
8:08
Went downstairs.
Nanny's here <3
8:32
She's gone

Okie :3 Tonight should be good.
Shogun with Zander, Jamie, Anthony, and maybe Christina.

Mmn, so I thought it was about time for a COSPLAY LIST!
Because I have most everything figured out.

Halloween:
Alex ~ A Clockwork Orange

Anime Boston:
Kyo ~ Macabre/diru
Hisoka ~ Yami no matsuei
Raito ~ Death Note
Lukas ~ Original
Bou? ~ An Cafe
Guys? ~ Enzai

Portcon:
Yuki ~ Fruits Basket
Schrodinger ~ Hellsing
Robo-Ky? ~ Guilty Gear

I decided to stop filtering my entries.
I'll only friends lock when I have to :3
Uh...I'm bored D:
But I love this class.
Everyone always fights and stuff.
Dylan's in this class and I hate him.
I've always hated him.
-Whines-
I had two panic attacks last night.
And I didn't sleep well...
I need to punch Dylan in the mouth right now.
That would make me feel better :3

Uh.
Yeah.
I think I'll do that :D
gtfo.
bai.

By the way
Auditions tonight.
Not gonna be home till 5 something.

In my restless dreams
I see that town...

Silent hill.